blank'/> THE PUCK REPORT: Today In NHL History - Burke's Twitter Imposter

Friday, January 26, 2024

Today In NHL History - Burke's Twitter Imposter

On January 26th in 2009, Down Goes Brown blogger Sean McIndoe opened a Twitter account in the name of Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke and proceeded to parody a witty fictional inner-monologue of the brash bossman.

What started as a one-off joke evolved into 95 tweets over 63 days. A selection of Sean's tweets are posted below with an entire archive here:

  • In the press box in Minnesota. Just noticed that every time Cliff Fletcher walks by, Doug Risebrough instinctively covers his bumhole.
  • Just wondering: if Mayers or May fight Derek Boogard, do they come off the salary cap right away or do we have to wait for the funeral?
  • Brian Murray called to talk trade, but he kept using this obviously fake lisp so I hung up on him.
  • @SedinTwinsAgent... OK, you've got a deal. But remember we have to keep this a secret until July 1.
  • Just to clarify: When I said Antropov needs a "change of scenery", I didn't mean trading him. I meant trading every one of his teammates.
  • Congratulated Stempniak on scoring in his first game as a Leaf. He said he's actually been here for three months. First I've heard of it.
  • Leaving Florida, but we'll be back in mid-March. And by "we", I mean me, the coaches, and about four players.
  • @BobGainey: Mathieu Schneider? Any relation to the guy who played for the Habs when they last won a Cup? Like his grandson or something?
  • @JasonBlake: You know, there are some really nice tanning salons in Toronto. Even an hour or two a week can work wonders. Just saying.
  • Tomas Kaberle and I are working together on his trade deadline options. He gave me a list of 10 teams. I gave him back a list of 20 more.
  • Just ran into Kyle Wellwood arriving at the ACC. He seemed kind of depressed. Told him to keep his chins up.
  • Dave Shoalts is outraged that someone would fraudulently pass themselves off as a Leafs GM. Where was he when JFJ did it for four years?
  • I promised Mark Bell I'd put him on waivers to give him a shot at playing for an NHL team. He was just claimed by the Rangers. Close enough.
  • Was excited to see Fletcher and Nonis on the phone all morning. Just realized they were talking to each other. Guys, you sit ten feet apart!
  • Told the team to embrace the role of "spoiler". They've responded by telling playoff contenders the endings of movies they haven't seen yet.
  • Updating my address book. @BobGainey, will you still have the same e-mail when you're fired five minutes after the regular season ends?
  • Pogge was so upset after last night's game that he threw himself in front of my car - but it went through his legs! So I backed over him.
With a publicity push from Puck Daddy, followers of the cunning commentary grew exponentially. Despite direct cues that the feed was indeed for fun, some took offense to the farce including Burke. A final interview with the author set the record straight on the gag.

Sean eventually terminated the handle, posting his final Burke tweet on March 29th, 2009. Brian Burke subsequently became active on Twitter with @LeafsBB20, which he later abandoned in favor of @Burkie2020 once dismissed from the Leafs and hired by the Calgary Flames.

McIndoe has since published a few books (The Best of Down Goes Brown [2012], The 100 Greatest Players in NHL History (And Other Stuff) [2017], The Down Goes Brown History of the NHL [2018]) and continues to share his hockey musings on his blog, Grantland, The Athletic, Biscuits and through his Twitter account @DownGoesBrown

That's today in NHL history.